Post by Crystallis on Jul 5, 2010 16:58:52 GMT -5
Translator's Note
I'm going to use this site (http://funnytranslator.com/translation/) to translate the Bible a little at a time. The Bible is a big freaking book so I don't expect to get very far. I'll do 56 translations each time. I might play around with things a bit to at least make it sensible (backtracking to real words, deleting nonsense words, adding punctuation.
I'm translating a few lines at a time and using the New International Version as hosted at BibleGateway as the original text. The lines in the headings refer to the lines in the original, while the lines in the text are the new lines. I'll keep the full thing in the original post for those who want to read it all, as well as posting new bits.
The Beginning
Genesis 1:1-10
1Chaos Space Lord of Heaven and Lord Black, lift the light. I saw the light of life. 2The peace of God, and in the darkness, design nightlight. 3The God is a combination of river. 4Report of the sky. Today or tomorrow, drinking water in the world. Sexy. 5Comments Kansas Strait and health.
Genesis 1:11-20
6In the year, other fruits of this guide, all with grass seed. 7Trees in October seeds, fruit seeds, if necessary, God is righteous. One morning, Tuesday. 8God, afternoon, evening, summer and every four years, solar energy. 9Sunday, he wrote. The star of children's different today, two big stars of God. 10God in heaven, earth and air support equitable distribution of God cat. Yesterday evening, Tuesday. 11Of God, but also green bird.
Genesis 1:21-30
12My God, except Wales and other animals, water, birds, flying red God really changed. 13Multiply God. Growth in each country and for the benefit of Waterfowl. He said that now and tomorrow for five days. 14God said in March, "This is a directory of product quality natural areas, Animals and the environment." 15For animals and Portrayal of God which God alone. 16The image of God, everything is working birds and fish and animals, or otherwise.
17Lord God, speak to women and men is a factor. 18God and money, he said, American culture and many countries... Struggle to live life. 19God: "I think with different plants, the boss," he said. 20My spiritual life and the lives of every animal and bird life on the earth. The leadership. 21God thought what I saw. Posted on Friday night.
The Beginning, Adam and Eve
Genesis 2:1-10
1Like the work of God's seventh day on Saturday until the end of his career was finished. 2The Lord in heaven and earth Geothermal authors. 3Everywhere in the world that God Sends Rain on the fund. 4God of Agriculture and nose and breathe peace, life and body Powders easy. 5People. 6God, and not look happy to put in bronze. Wood for good and bad. 7Song of ideas Garden is divided into four groups.
Adam and Eve
Genesis 2:11-25
8World (skin, fertile plants). 9"Wind river Ethiopia, tiger," said the former East Bloc Vietnam. 10God's people, the sky is taking place. We make from scratch in the garden. 11Three good and bad food and I eat. "God," he said, "it's a good idea. It helps." 12All birds in the world and God. I know his name is the name of the animal. 13Sky, animals, birds, animals and humans. 14People are Sleeping and your body on the beach. 15Of God created men and women, please, for me, thank you, for women of good meat bone. 16So parents, husband, the son, daughter die in an empty Oily.
The Fall of Man
Genesis 3:1-10
1But the main producing areas and intelligent animals. He said that God is true, then why not eat fruit in the garden? 2Snake man: "I garden. 'God said: 'A life in the media, the best fruit available,'" he said. 3"I killed him," he said. "God opened my eyes, it's good or bad, by Molly." 4This is good food, fruit, wisdom and love of food that my wife lost consciousness. 5Of sand and Stock Photos. 6I hid in the woods and listening to the silence of God, man and woman, but God in a place called Adam. 7He said: "I think I."
Genesis 3:11-24
8He said: "I know what you say is the fruit." 9He said: "Yes, he said, 'snake,'" which, as already mentioned, the common. 10"Movement of animals and nature, therefore, a hair, in powder, in particular, to increase sales every day," he said. 11"You and your children, good job, I had to work to end violence and hatred." 12"My boys in pain and suffering, and we are looking... I think."
13"I fear the problems of everyday life, as his wife, the book has obvious problems in hell." 14"Tuesday night I left the world in the grass." 15Mother are, Adam grass, everything in life. Egg Jesus, man and women and Chan. 16He said that those who live directly from the tree of good and evil. 17God in heaven. 18Avoid irritation of the tree of life.
Cain and Abel
Genesis 4:1-10
1New Year's are, no and his wife, women's rights. He said: "God of peace, my brother Abel, bless the family of all cities." 2In this case, God save the church kitchen and Abel believed that animal sacrifice to God. 3But the price is too high. Why do you think that all artists are truly Weapons: Why health? 4"If this is true or not, God? This means that only Crimes are known, for example." 5"No, yes." I work in the field, to attack his brother and killed him. 6"Ta, where in the world Abel," said the unknown. Said Ruth, "Brother first? Sir, my sister, my blood, I feel the same."
Genesis 4:11-26
7"My sister had opened his mouth and blood. Child products can be sold in other parts of the country can do." 8"Total cost of land, but died cope..." 9"Heart at least once in the box that no one has died, God, here to kill God." 10Sheila, rice sale major conflict. Music made with his wife, Sheila, and communicate with others. 11Cod, tents and other animals living in the house of his father. Pastor's wife creative.
12To any pipe location of our equipment. 13Woman and gather information. Yes, the new mother and second husband. Serbia killed and injured in killing Lin. A 77 Sheila is ready to show. 14Belgrade, the son of God, in September from his wife: "I will put John Cain killed." 15This period begins with the word of God and sin.
From Adam to Noah
Genesis 5:1-10
1Lord God this image, men and women personal history. 2In September 100, through the birth of her son and daughter know 800 years after his death in 930. 3Year in September and 105 in September, which Contributed 807 a book, 912 Dead. 4The European Union in 1990, parents 05:08.
Genesis 5:11-20
5905 patients have died, in December, 70, father, son and daughter, Maria, 840 years passed before I go. 6Midori's father and the son of Mary 910 65 Kennon. Mary was born 3 people." 78905, 2062 Gerald management for 800 children 2003. 8Guerard Kelly 4962.
Genesis 5:21-32
965 minutes, but Sheila, many years God was the son of 360. 10God was there in November, Sheila Group 100,780 years ago, Barbie was born media content. 11 969 years of mathematics for children under 18 years old, Surrounded by God's comfort and pain, he said, "Though." 12Sheila left in children born in 1959, in November 1911 with the increase of father of Japheth 777,500 people died.
The Flood
Genesis 6:1-10
1What is: "World Day of God has come to choose a control population has a beautiful daughter and her son and Grandson to encourage." 2My heart is God, or 201 people more say Sharp. 3There are children of God, try the old Warrior. 4Metro poor in the world and God, when the number of alerts. 5He said: "I believe that all white people, including animals, birds and hear the human world." 6Saturday, 1911 and November 1942, but the sound is full of God. Japheth, son of Dan 3:11.
Genesis 6:11-22
7God and the wisdom of God, power and poor. 8God: "I said this violence and I am sure it is not, and the planet..." 9Music space and power in Poland and abroad, thanks response: 450 centimeters, 75 centimeters 45 in. 10Look at 18 centimeters from the funeral home business, large and small. 11From the air, and the country would be lost if the oil crisis of life shortening. 12My problem is a couple you and your children, husband or child. Therefore, men and women in the economy. 13Four species of animals, birds, and 3 are called start all the action. 14Noah and his God.
Genesis 7:1-10
1"Noah, ship models, Accounting systems performance in general and of our rights." 2"Male and female animals of seven children and two women, seven men and women living in the country." 3"41 pleural 1970-1940, each community, representatives of God." 4November and child, the husband, wife, son, Ark Noah on his splitter for him six years to avoid Flooding. 5Verge animals, birds, Noah, men and women, black and Reptiles God. After seven days under water.
Scholar's Notes
The Beginning
Genesis 1:1-10
Chaos Space Lord of Heaven and Lord Black lift the light to create the universe. An unnamed author sees "the light of life." The two great beings create God to bring peace and serve as a nightlight in the darkness. God then creates rivers, the sky, and drinking water, which the unnamed author finds sexy. The Kansas Strait connects the continent of Kansas to another vibrant continent.
Genesis 1:11-20
God creates many fruits from grass seed. He also creates trees in October, including fruit trees if necessary. God is righteous. This all happens on Tuesday. God then creates the cycles of the day and the seasons, and grants solar energy to the Earth every four years. On Sunday, he writes. There are two big stars of God. One of them is the "star of children" and it is different now. God supports the equitable distribution of God cat, some sort of minor deity. It apparently is Wednesday now. Some sort of green bird is helping God with something.
Genesis 1:21-30
God creates animals and birds, except Wales. God is red and can fly. God multiplies animals in each country for the benefit of waterfowl for five days. In March, God creates a directory of product quality natural areas, animals, and the environment. God alone may create portrayals of God, and they all include him working with bird and fish and animals.
God can speak with men and women. Due to God and money, American culture and many countries struggle to live (presumably a note by the author). God reminds us that he is the boss and thinks with different plants. He is the leadership of the spiritual life of all the animals and birds on the Earth. God thought what the author sees now, and he posts it on a Friday night.
The Beginning, Adam and Eve
Genesis 2:1-10
God's work was finished on the seventh day (Saturday), until the end of his career (a reference to the Apocalypse, when God will work again?). God is the Lord of Heaven and Earth. He writes with geothermal vents. God sends down the rain fund. He is the God of agriculture and the nose. All may breathe peace and body powders. God creates people. God does not enjoy being bronzed. He prefers images carved in wood, even of bad quality, to bronze sculptures. The Garden is divided into four groups.
Adam and Eve
Genesis 2:11-20
The world includes both skin and fertile plants. The former East Bloc Vietnam talks of Wind River Ethiopia to a tiger. God's people make food from scratch in the garden. They make and eat three good and three bad foods. They remark to God that this eating thing is a good idea and helps. The man names all the birds in the world and God. People are sleeping on the beach. God creates men and women, and the author thanks him for women with good "meat bone." A family dies together somewhere in an empty oil tanker.
The Fall of Man
Genesis 3:1-10
A snake man says that God is true, so why not eat fruit in the Garden? Snake Man also tells us of the IGarden. God says it is a life in the media, and has the best fruit available. Adam kills a man, and says that God opened his eyes to what is good or bad. He swears this by Molly. Adam proclaims that the food is good when it causes his wife to lose consciousness. The IGarden has many stock photos of beaches. Adam hid in the woods listening for the silence of God, and realized God was within him, and he proclaims his ability to think.
Genesis 3:11-24
Adam tells God that he knows what he says is the fruit. Adam blames the Snake Man, a common snake, for eating the fruit. He tells God that because of movement of animals in nature, a hair in powder will increase sales every day. God tells Adam that he and his children did a good job, and God had to work hard to end violence and hatred. It may be that this is sarcastic foreshadowing of the next story, as it makes little sense otherwise. Adam apparently also gains the ability to see the future, as he speaks of his boys in pain and suffering, but he is less sure of his prediction than God.
Adam's wife, Eve, fears the problems of everyday wife, and notes that the book has obvious problems in Hell. On Tuesday God leaves the world in the grass. Adam, Eve, and everything in life lay in the grass. Egg Jesus has not yet hatched and walks among the men and women in the grass, including a man named Chan. Everybody is kicked out of the garden with the tree of good and evil and told to avoid irritating the tree of life, because God in Heaven is pissed.
Cain and Abel
Genesis 4:1-10
It is New Year's and Eve demands women's rights. Adam says no. Cain and Abel are born. They get along well at first, and Cain asks the God of peace to bless his brother Abel and the families of all cities. Abel makes an animal sacrifice to God, and God saves the church kitchen. But the price is too high. Because of this event, all artists are healthy Weapons.
Cain has a philosophical argument with God, asking of the truth of this. He asserts that only crimes are known. God seems uncertain in his reply. Cain works in the field and kills his brother. The unknown asks Ta where in the world Abel is. Ruth seems to question why the brother is placed first and says her sister is like her blood. Ta and Ruth are Cain and Abel's sisters or something.
Genesis 4:11-26
Despite her sister's interruption, Ta tells God that Ruth opened Abel's mouth and found blood. She suggests selling his body parts on the black market in other parts of the country. Ruth muses over whether this would make them enough money to buy their own land and cope without male support.
Later, Cain carries his heart in a box and comes to kill God. While he does not succeed, he does escape with his life. Cain's wife, Sheila, sells rice and this starts a war. They make music together and communicate with others to settle the war. Cod, tents, and other animals live in Adam's house. The pastor's wife is creative.
Cain and his people create a network of pipes that lead to their equipment. The women become spies. Cain and Sheila divorce and both are remarried. The new spouses, Serbia and Lin, battle each other to the death, although both families do have children first. God has a son named Belgrade, who says to his wife that he will put John Cain (a son of Cain) killed. On this dire note, the story ends. This period begins with the word of God and sin.
From Adam to Noah
Genesis 5:1-10
The author writes a random collection of history here, most of it meaningless as the dating system used is unknown for most of them. Eve gives birth to a son and daughter in September 100 who remain unknown until 800 years after Adam's death in 930. Something happens in September 105. Adam's son Seth writes a book in 807 and dies in 912. The author then apparently inserts a personal note that his parents were born at 5:08 AM some day in 1990 AD in the European Union. We can therefore conclude that this text is likely not written until the 2030s or later, so it apparently came from the future.
Genesis 5:11-20
This section is even less organized than the last. 905 patients died in December 70, including a father, son, and a daughter (Maria). Then 840 years passed before the author went. This either suggests more mixing and matching of dating systems or that the author is capable of time travel. Midori's father and the son of Mary did something in 910 65 with Kennon. Mary was born s three people. Gerald manages a school for 800 children in 2003. Guerard Kelly does something in 4962.
Genesis 5:21-32
God plays XBox 360 for 65 minutes and gets hooked. He plays it for many years and Sheila gets him out of his addiction. Sheila founds the Sheila Group and God uses his powers in November to send her back 100,780 years to create Barbie as media content. This causes great wealth for the Sheila Group and is suitable repayment for breaking God's video game addiction. Children under 18 years old are required to take 969 years of mathematics in this time, which presumably involves more screwing around with space-time. God is surrounded by comfort and pain and contemplates this thoughtfully. Sheila screws with time travel some more and gives birth to children in 1959. Likewise, Japheth's father goes to November 1911, becomes a tyrant, and causes the death of 777, 500 people.
The Flood
Genesis 6:1-10
The first line is written in the form of a Jeopardy question. The answer is unclear, but the clue relates to World Day, where God comes to choose a control population for his experiments. God also has a beautiful daughter, and she has a son and grandson. The text reminds us that there are children of God and says to try the old warrior (presumably a reference to Belgrade). The metropolises of the world are poor and God is raising the alerts. God is kind of racist. He appears to believe that only white people, including white animals and birds, hear the human world. The sound is full of God on a Saturday in 1911 and November 1942. Japheth, son of Dan, is born at 3:11.
Genesis 6:11-22
God's wisdom sees both the powerful and the poor. God said there is violence but he is sure there is not, and trails off about the planet, suggesting he may be less certain than he claims. God brings Noah to Poland to use the power of music space to build an ark with exact measurements, with help from large and small funeral home businesses in the area. There is an oil crisis in Poland. God says Noah and his family are his problem, and there shall be men and women in the economy. God commands Noah to bring four species of animals and birds. Three of them are called to start the action by Noah and God.
Genesis 7:1-10
God speaks to Noah of ship models, accounting systems, and their rights. He tells Noah to bring male and female animals which belong to seven children and two women, and also seven men and women from the country. There were 41 pleural effusions in the hospital from 1970-1940. Each community has representatives of God. In November, Noah and his family stay on the Ark splitter for six years to avoid flooding. Animals, birds, Noah, men, women, and black reptiles all worship the same God after spending seven days underwater.
I'm going to use this site (http://funnytranslator.com/translation/) to translate the Bible a little at a time. The Bible is a big freaking book so I don't expect to get very far. I'll do 56 translations each time. I might play around with things a bit to at least make it sensible (backtracking to real words, deleting nonsense words, adding punctuation.
I'm translating a few lines at a time and using the New International Version as hosted at BibleGateway as the original text. The lines in the headings refer to the lines in the original, while the lines in the text are the new lines. I'll keep the full thing in the original post for those who want to read it all, as well as posting new bits.
The Beginning
Genesis 1:1-10
1Chaos Space Lord of Heaven and Lord Black, lift the light. I saw the light of life. 2The peace of God, and in the darkness, design nightlight. 3The God is a combination of river. 4Report of the sky. Today or tomorrow, drinking water in the world. Sexy. 5Comments Kansas Strait and health.
Genesis 1:11-20
6In the year, other fruits of this guide, all with grass seed. 7Trees in October seeds, fruit seeds, if necessary, God is righteous. One morning, Tuesday. 8God, afternoon, evening, summer and every four years, solar energy. 9Sunday, he wrote. The star of children's different today, two big stars of God. 10God in heaven, earth and air support equitable distribution of God cat. Yesterday evening, Tuesday. 11Of God, but also green bird.
Genesis 1:21-30
12My God, except Wales and other animals, water, birds, flying red God really changed. 13Multiply God. Growth in each country and for the benefit of Waterfowl. He said that now and tomorrow for five days. 14God said in March, "This is a directory of product quality natural areas, Animals and the environment." 15For animals and Portrayal of God which God alone. 16The image of God, everything is working birds and fish and animals, or otherwise.
17Lord God, speak to women and men is a factor. 18God and money, he said, American culture and many countries... Struggle to live life. 19God: "I think with different plants, the boss," he said. 20My spiritual life and the lives of every animal and bird life on the earth. The leadership. 21God thought what I saw. Posted on Friday night.
The Beginning, Adam and Eve
Genesis 2:1-10
1Like the work of God's seventh day on Saturday until the end of his career was finished. 2The Lord in heaven and earth Geothermal authors. 3Everywhere in the world that God Sends Rain on the fund. 4God of Agriculture and nose and breathe peace, life and body Powders easy. 5People. 6God, and not look happy to put in bronze. Wood for good and bad. 7Song of ideas Garden is divided into four groups.
Adam and Eve
Genesis 2:11-25
8World (skin, fertile plants). 9"Wind river Ethiopia, tiger," said the former East Bloc Vietnam. 10God's people, the sky is taking place. We make from scratch in the garden. 11Three good and bad food and I eat. "God," he said, "it's a good idea. It helps." 12All birds in the world and God. I know his name is the name of the animal. 13Sky, animals, birds, animals and humans. 14People are Sleeping and your body on the beach. 15Of God created men and women, please, for me, thank you, for women of good meat bone. 16So parents, husband, the son, daughter die in an empty Oily.
The Fall of Man
Genesis 3:1-10
1But the main producing areas and intelligent animals. He said that God is true, then why not eat fruit in the garden? 2Snake man: "I garden. 'God said: 'A life in the media, the best fruit available,'" he said. 3"I killed him," he said. "God opened my eyes, it's good or bad, by Molly." 4This is good food, fruit, wisdom and love of food that my wife lost consciousness. 5Of sand and Stock Photos. 6I hid in the woods and listening to the silence of God, man and woman, but God in a place called Adam. 7He said: "I think I."
Genesis 3:11-24
8He said: "I know what you say is the fruit." 9He said: "Yes, he said, 'snake,'" which, as already mentioned, the common. 10"Movement of animals and nature, therefore, a hair, in powder, in particular, to increase sales every day," he said. 11"You and your children, good job, I had to work to end violence and hatred." 12"My boys in pain and suffering, and we are looking... I think."
13"I fear the problems of everyday life, as his wife, the book has obvious problems in hell." 14"Tuesday night I left the world in the grass." 15Mother are, Adam grass, everything in life. Egg Jesus, man and women and Chan. 16He said that those who live directly from the tree of good and evil. 17God in heaven. 18Avoid irritation of the tree of life.
Cain and Abel
Genesis 4:1-10
1New Year's are, no and his wife, women's rights. He said: "God of peace, my brother Abel, bless the family of all cities." 2In this case, God save the church kitchen and Abel believed that animal sacrifice to God. 3But the price is too high. Why do you think that all artists are truly Weapons: Why health? 4"If this is true or not, God? This means that only Crimes are known, for example." 5"No, yes." I work in the field, to attack his brother and killed him. 6"Ta, where in the world Abel," said the unknown. Said Ruth, "Brother first? Sir, my sister, my blood, I feel the same."
Genesis 4:11-26
7"My sister had opened his mouth and blood. Child products can be sold in other parts of the country can do." 8"Total cost of land, but died cope..." 9"Heart at least once in the box that no one has died, God, here to kill God." 10Sheila, rice sale major conflict. Music made with his wife, Sheila, and communicate with others. 11Cod, tents and other animals living in the house of his father. Pastor's wife creative.
12To any pipe location of our equipment. 13Woman and gather information. Yes, the new mother and second husband. Serbia killed and injured in killing Lin. A 77 Sheila is ready to show. 14Belgrade, the son of God, in September from his wife: "I will put John Cain killed." 15This period begins with the word of God and sin.
From Adam to Noah
Genesis 5:1-10
1Lord God this image, men and women personal history. 2In September 100, through the birth of her son and daughter know 800 years after his death in 930. 3Year in September and 105 in September, which Contributed 807 a book, 912 Dead. 4The European Union in 1990, parents 05:08.
Genesis 5:11-20
5905 patients have died, in December, 70, father, son and daughter, Maria, 840 years passed before I go. 6Midori's father and the son of Mary 910 65 Kennon. Mary was born 3 people." 78905, 2062 Gerald management for 800 children 2003. 8Guerard Kelly 4962.
Genesis 5:21-32
965 minutes, but Sheila, many years God was the son of 360. 10God was there in November, Sheila Group 100,780 years ago, Barbie was born media content. 11 969 years of mathematics for children under 18 years old, Surrounded by God's comfort and pain, he said, "Though." 12Sheila left in children born in 1959, in November 1911 with the increase of father of Japheth 777,500 people died.
The Flood
Genesis 6:1-10
1What is: "World Day of God has come to choose a control population has a beautiful daughter and her son and Grandson to encourage." 2My heart is God, or 201 people more say Sharp. 3There are children of God, try the old Warrior. 4Metro poor in the world and God, when the number of alerts. 5He said: "I believe that all white people, including animals, birds and hear the human world." 6Saturday, 1911 and November 1942, but the sound is full of God. Japheth, son of Dan 3:11.
Genesis 6:11-22
7God and the wisdom of God, power and poor. 8God: "I said this violence and I am sure it is not, and the planet..." 9Music space and power in Poland and abroad, thanks response: 450 centimeters, 75 centimeters 45 in. 10Look at 18 centimeters from the funeral home business, large and small. 11From the air, and the country would be lost if the oil crisis of life shortening. 12My problem is a couple you and your children, husband or child. Therefore, men and women in the economy. 13Four species of animals, birds, and 3 are called start all the action. 14Noah and his God.
Genesis 7:1-10
1"Noah, ship models, Accounting systems performance in general and of our rights." 2"Male and female animals of seven children and two women, seven men and women living in the country." 3"41 pleural 1970-1940, each community, representatives of God." 4November and child, the husband, wife, son, Ark Noah on his splitter for him six years to avoid Flooding. 5Verge animals, birds, Noah, men and women, black and Reptiles God. After seven days under water.
Scholar's Notes
The Beginning
Genesis 1:1-10
Chaos Space Lord of Heaven and Lord Black lift the light to create the universe. An unnamed author sees "the light of life." The two great beings create God to bring peace and serve as a nightlight in the darkness. God then creates rivers, the sky, and drinking water, which the unnamed author finds sexy. The Kansas Strait connects the continent of Kansas to another vibrant continent.
Genesis 1:11-20
God creates many fruits from grass seed. He also creates trees in October, including fruit trees if necessary. God is righteous. This all happens on Tuesday. God then creates the cycles of the day and the seasons, and grants solar energy to the Earth every four years. On Sunday, he writes. There are two big stars of God. One of them is the "star of children" and it is different now. God supports the equitable distribution of God cat, some sort of minor deity. It apparently is Wednesday now. Some sort of green bird is helping God with something.
Genesis 1:21-30
God creates animals and birds, except Wales. God is red and can fly. God multiplies animals in each country for the benefit of waterfowl for five days. In March, God creates a directory of product quality natural areas, animals, and the environment. God alone may create portrayals of God, and they all include him working with bird and fish and animals.
God can speak with men and women. Due to God and money, American culture and many countries struggle to live (presumably a note by the author). God reminds us that he is the boss and thinks with different plants. He is the leadership of the spiritual life of all the animals and birds on the Earth. God thought what the author sees now, and he posts it on a Friday night.
The Beginning, Adam and Eve
Genesis 2:1-10
God's work was finished on the seventh day (Saturday), until the end of his career (a reference to the Apocalypse, when God will work again?). God is the Lord of Heaven and Earth. He writes with geothermal vents. God sends down the rain fund. He is the God of agriculture and the nose. All may breathe peace and body powders. God creates people. God does not enjoy being bronzed. He prefers images carved in wood, even of bad quality, to bronze sculptures. The Garden is divided into four groups.
Adam and Eve
Genesis 2:11-20
The world includes both skin and fertile plants. The former East Bloc Vietnam talks of Wind River Ethiopia to a tiger. God's people make food from scratch in the garden. They make and eat three good and three bad foods. They remark to God that this eating thing is a good idea and helps. The man names all the birds in the world and God. People are sleeping on the beach. God creates men and women, and the author thanks him for women with good "meat bone." A family dies together somewhere in an empty oil tanker.
The Fall of Man
Genesis 3:1-10
A snake man says that God is true, so why not eat fruit in the Garden? Snake Man also tells us of the IGarden. God says it is a life in the media, and has the best fruit available. Adam kills a man, and says that God opened his eyes to what is good or bad. He swears this by Molly. Adam proclaims that the food is good when it causes his wife to lose consciousness. The IGarden has many stock photos of beaches. Adam hid in the woods listening for the silence of God, and realized God was within him, and he proclaims his ability to think.
Genesis 3:11-24
Adam tells God that he knows what he says is the fruit. Adam blames the Snake Man, a common snake, for eating the fruit. He tells God that because of movement of animals in nature, a hair in powder will increase sales every day. God tells Adam that he and his children did a good job, and God had to work hard to end violence and hatred. It may be that this is sarcastic foreshadowing of the next story, as it makes little sense otherwise. Adam apparently also gains the ability to see the future, as he speaks of his boys in pain and suffering, but he is less sure of his prediction than God.
Adam's wife, Eve, fears the problems of everyday wife, and notes that the book has obvious problems in Hell. On Tuesday God leaves the world in the grass. Adam, Eve, and everything in life lay in the grass. Egg Jesus has not yet hatched and walks among the men and women in the grass, including a man named Chan. Everybody is kicked out of the garden with the tree of good and evil and told to avoid irritating the tree of life, because God in Heaven is pissed.
Cain and Abel
Genesis 4:1-10
It is New Year's and Eve demands women's rights. Adam says no. Cain and Abel are born. They get along well at first, and Cain asks the God of peace to bless his brother Abel and the families of all cities. Abel makes an animal sacrifice to God, and God saves the church kitchen. But the price is too high. Because of this event, all artists are healthy Weapons.
Cain has a philosophical argument with God, asking of the truth of this. He asserts that only crimes are known. God seems uncertain in his reply. Cain works in the field and kills his brother. The unknown asks Ta where in the world Abel is. Ruth seems to question why the brother is placed first and says her sister is like her blood. Ta and Ruth are Cain and Abel's sisters or something.
Genesis 4:11-26
Despite her sister's interruption, Ta tells God that Ruth opened Abel's mouth and found blood. She suggests selling his body parts on the black market in other parts of the country. Ruth muses over whether this would make them enough money to buy their own land and cope without male support.
Later, Cain carries his heart in a box and comes to kill God. While he does not succeed, he does escape with his life. Cain's wife, Sheila, sells rice and this starts a war. They make music together and communicate with others to settle the war. Cod, tents, and other animals live in Adam's house. The pastor's wife is creative.
Cain and his people create a network of pipes that lead to their equipment. The women become spies. Cain and Sheila divorce and both are remarried. The new spouses, Serbia and Lin, battle each other to the death, although both families do have children first. God has a son named Belgrade, who says to his wife that he will put John Cain (a son of Cain) killed. On this dire note, the story ends. This period begins with the word of God and sin.
From Adam to Noah
Genesis 5:1-10
The author writes a random collection of history here, most of it meaningless as the dating system used is unknown for most of them. Eve gives birth to a son and daughter in September 100 who remain unknown until 800 years after Adam's death in 930. Something happens in September 105. Adam's son Seth writes a book in 807 and dies in 912. The author then apparently inserts a personal note that his parents were born at 5:08 AM some day in 1990 AD in the European Union. We can therefore conclude that this text is likely not written until the 2030s or later, so it apparently came from the future.
Genesis 5:11-20
This section is even less organized than the last. 905 patients died in December 70, including a father, son, and a daughter (Maria). Then 840 years passed before the author went. This either suggests more mixing and matching of dating systems or that the author is capable of time travel. Midori's father and the son of Mary did something in 910 65 with Kennon. Mary was born s three people. Gerald manages a school for 800 children in 2003. Guerard Kelly does something in 4962.
Genesis 5:21-32
God plays XBox 360 for 65 minutes and gets hooked. He plays it for many years and Sheila gets him out of his addiction. Sheila founds the Sheila Group and God uses his powers in November to send her back 100,780 years to create Barbie as media content. This causes great wealth for the Sheila Group and is suitable repayment for breaking God's video game addiction. Children under 18 years old are required to take 969 years of mathematics in this time, which presumably involves more screwing around with space-time. God is surrounded by comfort and pain and contemplates this thoughtfully. Sheila screws with time travel some more and gives birth to children in 1959. Likewise, Japheth's father goes to November 1911, becomes a tyrant, and causes the death of 777, 500 people.
The Flood
Genesis 6:1-10
The first line is written in the form of a Jeopardy question. The answer is unclear, but the clue relates to World Day, where God comes to choose a control population for his experiments. God also has a beautiful daughter, and she has a son and grandson. The text reminds us that there are children of God and says to try the old warrior (presumably a reference to Belgrade). The metropolises of the world are poor and God is raising the alerts. God is kind of racist. He appears to believe that only white people, including white animals and birds, hear the human world. The sound is full of God on a Saturday in 1911 and November 1942. Japheth, son of Dan, is born at 3:11.
Genesis 6:11-22
God's wisdom sees both the powerful and the poor. God said there is violence but he is sure there is not, and trails off about the planet, suggesting he may be less certain than he claims. God brings Noah to Poland to use the power of music space to build an ark with exact measurements, with help from large and small funeral home businesses in the area. There is an oil crisis in Poland. God says Noah and his family are his problem, and there shall be men and women in the economy. God commands Noah to bring four species of animals and birds. Three of them are called to start the action by Noah and God.
Genesis 7:1-10
God speaks to Noah of ship models, accounting systems, and their rights. He tells Noah to bring male and female animals which belong to seven children and two women, and also seven men and women from the country. There were 41 pleural effusions in the hospital from 1970-1940. Each community has representatives of God. In November, Noah and his family stay on the Ark splitter for six years to avoid flooding. Animals, birds, Noah, men, women, and black reptiles all worship the same God after spending seven days underwater.
